Real Stability
The mainstream meaning of stability in depression, bipolar, or schizophrenia is to be in remission of symptoms for an extended period with the goal of being symptom free forever. While I side with those who believe the tools including medicine and therapy are valid, I take issue with the goal itself. A stability that has us living a diminished life in fear of a relapse is only the beginning, not the end point in a path from disorder to advantage. If stability is the goal, we need to redefine what it means and how we measure it.
When we look a the physical world, the dictionary defines stable as "not likely to give way or overturn; firmly fixed." Stability means to be able to perform the intended action under duress. A race car with a low center of gravity is more stable while turning a corner than a minivan with a heavy load on the roof. The driver of the minivan has to be careful when turning a corner too fast; the car might flip over. The race car driver does too, but he has a vehicle built for speed and agility, not for lumbering through a parking lot loaded down with camping gear on the roof.
In the mental world, the dictionary defines stable as "sane and sensible; not easily upset or disturbed." Since the extremes of depression, mania, and schizophrenia typically accompany clear signs of being "upset or disturbed," it is understandable how freedom from symptoms became the standard. Unfortunately, it forces us into a predicament; if our condition changes in the slightest bit, we become unstable because we cannot function under the duress. We live in fear that our condition might "turn the corner" and we will flip out.
The real test of stability is when put under conditions that test the limits of performance. Stability only has meaning within the context of the purpose for which the object was designed for. A race car was designed to handle the corners at high speeds while maintaining stability. The driver needs professional training to be able to control the car when pushed to its limits. It would be malpractice if the trainer told the driver to just keep it under 10 miles an hour. When the race started, the driver would be ill prepared and in great danger to himself and the other drivers. A high performance car is dangerous, but it would be a shame to leave it in the garage because we fear we cannot handle the power.
Expecting to never have highs or lows is the same as parking our race car in the garage. A life not lived is not worth living. With professional training we can learn to handle the ups and downs of life and maintain real stability: remaining "sane and sensible; not easily upset or disturbed" no matter what state we are in. Real stability is the ability to perform at our best no matter what conditions life throws at us. Anything else is accepting a diminished life. Stability in mania or depression means to stay in a range that you can control while striving to gain control in an expanded range.
Limiting our life to a very narrow range and living in fear that we may have a relapse is not stability at all. Fear based "avoidance therapy" will never "cure" mania or depression, it will only force you into a diminished life with constant fear of relapse into mania or depression. Only by gaining insight, developing freedom from the dictates of our conditions, and finding real stability can we begin to live an advantage life of equanimity and self mastery. Only then can we begin to have deep, supportive, open and enduring relationships.
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