Redefining Functionality

The primary goal of recovery is to increase functionality. Functionality is assumed to mean the ability to go back to work or find new work that is more compatible with the limitations imposed by the bipolar condition. The New Oxford American Dictionary, 2nd Edition⁹ defines functionality as “the quality of being suited to serve a purpose well” or “the purpose that something is designed or expected to fulfill.” Pretty clear definitions. How did they get changed into one limited to just work?

Any discussion of functionality in depression or the bipolar condition must include all aspects of life. Is the purpose of life to work, or is there more to life than just making a living? I’m not saying work is not a big part of life, just that things like getting along with others and personal growth are at least as important. The biggest reason we can’t keep our jobs is that we have problems functioning in the social sense.

From the manic side, functionality actually increases at first in many bipolar people. In low level states, often called hypomania, we have more energy, less need for sleep, increased mental function, greater creativity, and the ability to see relationships between concepts. As our level of mania increases, our ability to control the effects becomes impaired, and we eventually lose all control of ourselves. We become increasingly erratic, angry, delusional, impatient, etc. Those around us notice pressured speech, aggressiveness, and other symptoms that eventually escalate to a state where we become a danger to ourselves and others.

We are initially attractive to new employers because of our energy and enthusiasm. We are highly praised at work for our drive and ambition, and are often looked at as the best employees - until we begin to lose control. It doesn’t take much time before we start exhibiting behaviors that make the management wish they never hired us in the first place.

When we get too manic, we start arguments with other workers and prove unable to function in groups. We begin to cause more trouble than we are worth. It is only a matter of time before our negatives outweigh the original positive impression that we gave. We can only hide our dark side for so long. No matter how productive we may be, the overall effect we have is to hurt the functionality of the whole organization.

The only thing worse than when we get too manic is when we get depressed. We don’t get anything done and prove to be completely unreliable. We can’t be counted on to finish our projects; sometimes we cannot function at all.

Is the problem our inability to keep a job, or is it something much more complicated than that? I think the bigger problem is that our definition of functionality is far too limited; we do not see the true picture. Functionality needs to be seen as state specific in both mania and depression. Our work aspirations need to change, to accommodate our new understanding of what is functional.

Functioning While Manic

The orthodox solution for mania is to keep it from happening, for fear that it will get out of control. But what if we could keep it in a range where we could still handle it? Through medication, therapy, personal insight, and determined effort, many people find that they can eventually enter hypomanic states and function just fine. Their increased ability to perform more than makes up for the negative parts. In some cases, their efforts to control themselves become strong enough that they are able to control the negatives and, at least for low levels of mania, are indeed enhanced by the condition.

When we see functionality in mania as more complex than just our ability to produce, we see that changing our behavior is the key to increasing functionality. If I were to accomplish many things, I would be considered productive. If I could produce more things than most people, one might even say I was “highly functional.”

For example, if I could write a book in a week, people would consider this a major accomplishment. I did write a book in a week. But during that time I did not interact well with anyone. I barely ate, didn’t sleep, ran my body ragged, and was impatient and crabby. In other words, I was highly functional in one part of my life, but dysfunctional in other important aspects. Yet by our society’s standards, the book was a great accomplishment. By my definition, it was a great failure in functionality. True functionality must include all aspects of life, which in the manic side means being highly productive while also staying in control and acting better.

In the final analysis, acting better turns out to be more important than being productive, which is why mediocre people who know how to get along with others tend to be more successful than superstars who can’t keep a job.

Learning to function in mania means to control your behavior via medication, therapy, and your own hard work. The only indication that we can function at any level of mania is how we act. If we can’t keep our behavior under control, we are not functional; no matter how productive we think we are. Only when we prove that we can be at a certain level of mania while keeping our behavior under control, can we claim to be functional at that level.

The need to medicate so strongly that we are kept out of mania goes down over time. With the lower dose, the hypomania has a greater tendency to escalate, but with therapy, insight, and hard work, we can learn to function at the new dosage without the negatives creeping in. Is it possible to get to the point that we can function in higher manic states, while still controlling the negative effects? I believe it can be done, but it takes an effort much greater than most people are willing to make. I outline the steps in How Do You Get There, later in this book. This effort has rewards that redefine what it means to be fully functional. The ability to function in higher manic states without negative effects means enjoying the advantages offered from the bipolar condition without its adverse effects.

Functioning While Depressed

The lack of functionality in depression is an entirely different problem from the manic side of being bipolar. By the commonly mistaken definition of functionality, depression is the worst part of the condition. It seems clear to everyone that depression is a state of progressively decreased functionality to the point that “depression” and “lack of functionality” become almost synonymous.

The problem in depression is that our limited definition of functionality does not work at all. We need a definition that is specific to the state of depression and allows for functionality in areas outside normal measurements of productivity. The definition must take into account “the purpose that something is designed or expected to fulfill.” Functionality in depression is not measured by how many things we can create.

Like those in lower levels of mania, many depressed people find that they can function in low levels of depression while controlling the negative effects. With the aid of medication, therapy, insight, and our own hard work, we lessen the negative aspects of depression while learning to gain from the experience. Eventually we get to the point where we can go deeper into depression without being overwhelmed by the pain, despair, delusion, and suicidal ideation.

As we learn to “see” in depression, we learn that depression can help us to produce changes in our lives. We become stronger. Our ability to empathize with and help others increases. We begin to gain perspective. We find that deeper states of depression start to lose their grip on us. Our ability to perceive becomes greater, and we notice a change in ourselves. We resolve to make changes in the way we treat other people. We develop a greater appreciation for simple things in life. We become better people.

As insights increase, we start to place a higher value on personal growth than on the accomplishment of things. We begin to see light in the darkness. Depression in these circumstances can be seen as highly functional and productive. During those times, depression gave me something far more valuable than a mere book. Depression gave me insight and the ability to change the way I see the world.

As with mania, the orthodox solution is to prevent depression from happening, for fear that it will get out of control. Both solutions deny the possibility that we can learn to be functional in these states. Living in fear is not functional either. Only by learning to function in both manic and depressed states can we achieve our real potential. As you will see in the chapters about the lives of saints, our potential is much greater than we are willing to admit. To achieve that, we need to recognize a higher purpose and learn to be more functional by changing the way we act in all circumstances. As I spoke about in The Art Of Seeing Depression article, the higher purpose of depression is to gain insight, learn what is really important in our lives, and find the will to change.

A New Definition

We can redefine functionality, once we have found the ability to accomplish great things WITHIN. My definition of functionality has become one based on personal growth above all other things. By that definition, depression is the most functional state I know. Every great change in my life was precipitated by insights gained during depression. Depression has served the function of changing my life for the better.

Increasing functionality means to learn to expand our ability to function in both manic and depressed states. Our natural ability to experience states outside the range of “normal” people can become the greatest gift. The gift comes with side effects originally beyond our control, but that does not mean that we cannot learn to function in higher states of mania and deeper states of depression. It is within our power to learn to control those states and turn them to our advantage.

The path is difficult and fraught with danger. It is much easier to just avoid anything outside of a narrow range. But how can you call that functioning, when so much more is available?

Getting Back To Work

Once we begin to understand what functionality means, and examine our good and bad traits, we can see that employment needs to be approached differently. Some jobs clearly will never work for us, but that does not mean that we cannot find work that is meaningful and rewarding. We just have to look for work that more closely matches our unique talents.

There are a ton of jobs that I am just plain incapable of keeping. I should know; I have burned through more than my fair share. I have also had several perfect jobs that would have lasted if I knew then what I know now. It may seem obvious, but we need to find work that fits our lives instead of trying to fit ourselves into jobs that we are not suited for.

Just like elsewhere in life, we have to take a hard look at what our good and bad traits are and come to an acceptance of them. We then need to introspect deeply to have a clear picture of what we are capable of. We need to focus on finding types of work that are appropriate, and create a business plan with the steps outlined on how to achieve it. We need to get help in whatever way we can, and do our own hard work to accomplish our goals. I outline these steps in the How Do You Get There chapter.

In following this process, you might find that you have pursued a career that was wrong for you all along. That is what Cathy discovered during one of my first workshops. In looking at the good and bad traits about bipolar that we all came up with, she realized that her career path was destined to fail from the start.

Cathy started and owned two businesses that did not give her satisfaction. She quit those, hoping that working for someone else would take away the burden that was causing too much stress and exacerbating her symptoms. When she attended the workshop, she was working as an accountant because of her training, but it was not fulfilling either.

All of her previous work had her sitting in a cubicle, with no external stimulus, interaction or travel. She came to realize that it was the boredom that was making her stressed, not the deadlines and challenges. Her jobs were increasing the amount of time that she had to cope with her weaknesses, and doing so increased mania and depression.

Seeing all the good and bad aspects of being bipolar made it all very clear. Cathy needed to accept her weaknesses and accept what wasn't working. Even if she was invested in her careers, she had to admit they weren't what she needed to be doing. Cathy also needed to accept her strengths: networking, easily understanding high level concepts, and making connections between distant people and situations.

Within months of the workshop, Cathy took a big gamble. She first found a new job, but then left the familiar and started on a career that was in line with her functionality. She has been at the same job now for almost four years, and finds it to be the most fulfilling job she has ever had. It not only challenges her through travel, networking, and dealing with high level concepts; it also affords her the ability to take time off when depression sets in.

Once you start working in an environment that supports your strengths and accommodates your weaknesses, life will begin to work for you too.

It is not always as easy as it was for Cathy. Sometimes we have to stay in a position that we hate just to keep food on the table. My work with homeless people taught me how some people struggle with all they have just to stay alive. But I never said it was easy. With determination, hard work, help, and some good luck, we can all eventually create a better living while changing ourselves into better people.