If you want to make it to Bipolar IN Order you’re going to need all the help you can get. It takes a team to effectively give you the feedback and the tools you need so you can set reasonable goals and reach them. Building a team can help you use all the tools more effectively.
As you work to achieve your goals there is a lot of change that takes place. Change is difficult. There will be new behaviors, interests, ideas, and actions that you will have to get used to. Sometimes there will be setbacks or bad days. Having a supportive team in place can help you through the hard times.
Having a team with different points of view is the best way to insure that you are allowed to grow at the pace you set. The expectations of any one team member, whether it is family or professional, will be moderated by the other team members. Over reacting, mandating, or coercing are much less likely to occur when the rest of your team is backing you up.
As you know, bipolar affects your entire life: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, social, and career/financial. No single person has the necessary expertise to address all of those issues. Creating a team that can contribute cooperatively to the whole person is essential to success.
Central to the team is a psychiatrist, psychologist, general MD, or therapist that specializes in bipolar and depression. If he/she understands the Bipolar IN Order concepts and has agreed to help you reach your goals, you already have an excellent beginning to your team. At minimum, make sure that your general practitioner and psychiatrist are in contact with each other about your medications and physiology. Both are interconnected with your mental health.
Learning the tools of nurturing relationships is key to your success at home and at work. The best way to do that is by working with a Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT). Working with an MFT can teach you immediate tools for managing your relationships more effectively. They are especially qualified to keep your relationships supportive during this time. The MFT expects to see your whole family together from time to time and this fits in with the concept of keeping your friends and family involved in your Plan.
Your family and friends can be a major asset on your team. They know your history and see patterns over time that others may not know are happening. Including them in therapy appointments when appropriate can reinforce their inclusion in the process. They can support you in your struggles and cheer your successes.
Some spiritual counselors have a degree in psychology or other specialized training in addition to their work in theology. A good spiritual counselor is not interested in converting anyone to a particular religion. Rather, their role is to help you understand the spiritual nature of your condition. The American Association of Pastoral Counselors is a national organization that can provide some guidance and referrals. Their website is www.aapc.org.
Having a peer that has Bipolar IN Order can be a tremendous asset. They have been down the path and have used the tools successfully in their own lives. Their own success can be a great inspiration for you to continue making the effort.
The lessons on Professional Assessments and Professional Help are guides to other areas that you may especially want to address. Expand your team to include those areas where you see the need and have interest. There is great benefit in including some of the viewpoints and expertise they offer toward getting Bipolar IN Order.
How do you know if someone is right for your team? Interview them as if they are applying for the most important job in the world. It is the most important job in your world. Don’t be afraid to turn down the ones that don’t feel right to you. Insist that they are a member of your team and not the other way around.
The question to start out with is, "What do you believe is possible?" It can be phrased many ways: "What outcomes should I expect?," "What will my life look like after treatment?," "Can I get my life back?," and many more. It is important to start with such questions because you want to know if the provider has beliefs that will limit your success. What you are looking for is someone who will give you hope for a bright future while keeping realistic.
You can quickly sort out many prospects by listening to the answers. They will range from doom and gloom (you will be sick forever) to advocating complete remission (already proven to not work by the NIMH), with both ends of the spectrum providing good reason to look elsewhere. Although easy to achieve, the doom and gloom side is not worth living, whereas complete remission is not realistic when you consider the price that you will pay to have it (being a zombie or living a diminished life).
In helping people throughout the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and several other countries, we have found an incredible consistency in answers. A common one, unfortunately, is refusal to answer without a paid appointment, so look elsewhere unless they have a website stating their beliefs. The rest can be divided into three groups: the maternalistic/paternalistic superior, the coach or team player, and the "haven't got a clue."
The most common answer we get is, "You have to understand that you have a chemical imbalance. It is a biological illness like diabetes. You will be sick for the rest of your life and will need to limit your life goals to accommodate the illness." I'm not sure whether this is an example of paternalistic or "haven't got a clue," but is a perfect reason to keep looking.
A better answer might be, "This is a serious condition that can destroy your life and those around you. With hard work you can learn to manage it in a way that it changes from a disorder to an asset." An answer like this gives both hope and a realistic appraisal. It also shows someone who sees himself/herself as a team player or coach - one that will hold you accountable for your own progress. This is exactly the kind of person you want on your team.
Of course, you will get answers somewhere between the ones to run from and the ideal. You will need to decide at some point if the provider can help you to move forward even if not all the way. It is very common that we outgrow someone who was very helpful for the stage that we were at, and need to find someone more in tune with where we are now. The critical thing to ask yourself with this beginning question is, "How is this provider going to help me get to where I want to go if he/she doesn't believe it is possible?"
When a business hires a new employee or looks for a new vendor, checking references is one of the most important parts of the process. It is one thing for someone to say that they can do something, but a business would fail if the managers did not check to make sure it is true. Businesses want results and should always look for proof before buying anything.
Unfortunately, consumers tend to just accept results as implied by the fact that a provider is available. How can someone help you to get results that you want if they have not produced them already? Once you find someone who believes that it is possible to achieve results in line with Bipolar IN Order, you need to ask for references. A simple question that you have every right to ask might be, "What examples of success can you share with me?" or "Do you have anyone that I can talk with that you have helped to achieve the results that I am looking for?"
The importance of asking what someone has achieved is especially important with peer coaches. How many articles have you seen by people with mental conditions that list their secrets for success and in the same article mention how they can't handle relationships, depression, or whatever else they are giving their tips for?
It is important to differentiate between peer support by someone coming from success and what is practiced all too often in the peer support community. If the peer does not have the condition IN Order and is failing in his/her own life, how can the support lead to anything but a similar failure? Walking you down a path that did not work will only confuse you and strengthen the false belief that you need to accept a diminished life as the outcome.
What all providers are offering are just tools and the training to use them. Although some people get hung up on tools both pro and con, what the tool is used for is far more important. A hammer is a great tool for pounding in nails. It can also be used to bludgeon someone's head, but it makes a terrible oar for a rowboat. Likewise, a certain medicine or nutritional supplement might be a good tool for someone in crisis, but can get in the way when you are further down the path to Bipolar In Order.
It is important to have a toolbox that has tools for all of your needs. Throwing out all of the screwdrivers because someone once used one improperly means that you will not have one when it is the only tool that will do the job. As you progress on the path, you may need tools that you once thought had no value. At a minimum, you will need tools to address physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, relationship, and career/financial issues. It is best to learn what tools are available and how they can be used before you need them instead of having to make a choice during a crisis.
Once you find providers that believe in success and have created it themselves, the important questions to ask are: "What tools will you use to help me achieve my goals?" and "How do you feel about the other tools that I use?" How one answers those questions will determine whether you should work with him/her.
While some may have had great success with a particular tool or provider and are happy with their level of success, no two people are alike. What works for one person does not necessarily work for another. An integrated approach that includes all areas of life generally makes more sense than a single tool. That is why it is important to ask how a provider feels about the other tools.
Of course, we don't all have unlimited funds or the best resources available. We will need to make compromises and accept the best team that we can build. But, that is completely different than accepting a bad choice because you didn't even do the work to find the best choices available. A simple list of questions can make the difference between a provider that holds you back and one that helps you to succeed.
Here is the list of questions that we use when helping someone to find their team :
- What do you believe is possible?
- What examples of success can you share with me?
- What tools do you use to help me achieve my goals?
- How do you feel about the other tools that I use?
We provide training and certification for doctors and therapists. If you find someone who seems perfect for your team that has not been through the program, it might be a good idea for him/her to take the course too.
Once you have your team in place there are some processes and agreements that will help it to function smoothly.
- Provide a contact list with e-mails and phone numbers and add their name to the list.
- Ask them to take a look at the goals you are setting for yourself and ask for their input. This doesn’t have to be a dissertation, just ask if they see any “red flags” or if they have particular expertise that is going to contribute to success in certain areas.
- Ask them to send an introductory e-mail or participate in an on-line session or conference call. This establishes what part of your care they provide, your relative fitness at the start, and any strengths or weakness they can see impacting your goals.
- Make agreements with them about when/why you will check in with them in the next few months for reviewing progress. Ask that this information be shared in brief with other providers.
- Make agreements with them about any crisis or emergency communications, contacts, or processes you would like them to participate in or be notified about. Make this information available to other members of the team.
- Ask for the Release of Personal Health Information form that their office/practice provides and get it signed and copied to the other members of the team.
Building your team is an assurance that the whole person will be addressed. It is about you and it is primarily for your benefit. This group of people is chosen by you and they are asked to work with you in a collaborative and supportive way. Begin with your primary providers to make sure they are talking to each other and understand your goals. Expand your team as your initial assessments and progress indicate the additional areas of expertise you need.
There are pdf versions of the forms below this lesson for you to copy, modify, print and fill out.
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